Ladies… at some point between your first middle school crush and your last emotionally unavailable situationship, someone convinced you that being upfront about what you want makes you desperate. That making the first move is clingy. That showing interest is something to downplay, hide, or dilute behind delayed replies.

Let’s rewrite that narrative.

Because the truth is: confidence is hot. Clarity is rare. And saying “I want to see you” doesn’t make you thirsty—it makes you powerful. Grab a glass of wine, and let’s dive in..

Take the Lead. Lose the Games.

Let’s talk real-life strategy. If you’re into someone, don’t spiral over it for six days. Don’t wait around hoping they eventually circle back with a “wyd?” text at 9:42 PM. Just say it: “I’d love to grab a drink—are you free Thursday or Friday?”

That’s not a fucking marriage proposal. It’s not a soul-baring monologue. It’s literally just two options and a time slot. If they can’t handle that, they’re not someone you need to keep entertaining. Let them go fumble someone else while you book your next reservation and reclaim your peace.

What Making the First Move Really Says

It says you value your time. It says you’re not interested in games. It says you trust yourself enough to go after what you want—and you’re not afraid of rejection because you know who you are and what you bring to the table.

When you take the lead, you’re not chasing. You’re choosing. You’re not proving your worth—you’re protecting it. There’s nothing “desperate” about deciding you’d rather take action than sit in ambiguity. In fact, it’s elite behavior.

Making the Move Saves You Time

No more marathon text threads that go nowhere. No more trying to read between the likes on your story. No more wondering why they “seem interested” but never make plans. Making the first move takes you out of dating limbo and straight into clarity. Either they’re in—or they’re out. But at least you’ll know, and you can move accordingly.

And if they flake? Perfect. That’s your answer. You just saved yourself hours of analysis and a hundred mental drafts of texts you were never going to send anyway.

The Bottom Line

If they say yes, great—you’re off the bench and on the date. If they ghost, even better—you’ve just dodged someone who wasn’t ready for you in the first place. This isn’t about controlling the outcome. It’s about reclaiming your role in it.

You don’t need to be chased to be cherished. You don’t need to wait in silence hoping someone reads your mind. You are allowed—no, encouraged—to make the move.

Because at the end of the day, the woman who knows what she wants and asks for it? She’s not desperate. She’s the one who ends up with exactly what she deserves.

And that’s the real power play.